Why Me

Why Me

There was this song I love by the group “Naughty by Nature” and the lyrics went like this.

Some get a little and some get none 
Some catch a bad one and some leave the job half done 
I was one who never had and always mad 
Never knew my dad, mother fuck the fag 
Where anywhere I did pick up, flipped the clip up 
Too many stick-ups, 'cause niggas had the trigger hic-ups 
I couldn't get a job, nappy hair was not allowed 
My mother couldn't afford us all, she had to throw me out 
I walked the strip, which is a clip, who wanna hit? 
They got 'em quick, I had to eat, this money's good as spent 
I threw in graves, I wasn't paid enough 
I kept 'em long 'cause I couldn't afford a haircut 
I got laughed at, I got chumped, I got dissed 
I got upset, I got a tech in the banana clip 
Was down to throw the led to any tellin' crackhead 
I'm still livin' broke, so a lot of good it would've did 
Or done, if not for bad luck, I would have none 
Why did I have to live a life of such a bad one 
Why when I was a kid and played out was a sad one 
And always wanted to live like just a fat one 

The chorus had these words,

Everything's gonna be alright (alright) 
Everything's gonna be alright (alright) 
Everything's gonna be alright now (alright) 
Everything's gonna be alright (alright) 

The whole song gave meaning to the life most of us live, but Trech spoke mostly of a life in the ghetto. A life that I grew up experiencing through the people I associated with. These same people live in this neighborhood and abroad today. It’s a stuggle living this life, trying to balance between doing whats right and doing whats wrong. Selling drugs is a lucrative job in which you can make a lot of money. But two things come into prospective, the clients you gain, never stay the same, and at times, depending on what you are selling, they die off. Another aspect is there is no retirement and, or someone else may want to move in on your business and utilize the gun to move you out of the way. This makes the mortuary a good business because they know people are dying to get in there to keep their business thriving.

With all this in mind we still have to deal with poverty in our neighborhoods and the governmental officials, we put in office, not being concerned about the welfare of us. They say all these glamorous speeches and make it seem like they really care, but in the end, we still suffer. I for one struggle with some of the decisions I made in life and have to deal with the outcomes. My money being funny and not being able to enjoy the finer things in life. I sometimes ask the question, “why me”.

In scripture I have found one person who took this question on a whole different perspective. When God looked upon the sins of the Earth, he needed a leader to come and show the world how to live a life we were created to live. One Anointed Individual stood and said, I’ll go. This Person left the luxury of Heaven to come and dwell amongst us.

Now, let’s understand something first, Adam started all of this off by being disobedient. The reaction in which he made towards the fruit is now dictating how we all react to the fruits of the world. I had a conversation with an artist this past week and talked about the Willie Lynch letter. He has a rhyme that’s cold and it is about the letter, in his letter he speaks about economics and the destruction the letter enforces. Now check this out, the letter makes everyone believe that the colors he is speaking of in this letter, black and white, represent a skin color. But you see in economy in order to be poor, in the black, money is not being made. To be white means that you are making money. This letter creates confusion if we allow our natural instincts to kick in and react to the letter. If we actually look at the letter it has economic value, which means the colors black and white are talking about the economic value of the people, not the color of their skin. Slaves, when the letter was written were either indentured or forced into slavery. So to be a slave meant you work for someone who had the financial backing to support your labor. The nationality of the people spanned from European to African. We all see the effect of slavery from the descendants of Africa. This can also become an additional argument because history shows that the people with dark skin were already here in the manifest of early Spanish explorers, which were called “Moors”. But to stay on point, all of this is involved with the Willie Lynch letter when it comes to confusion. If the people are confused then control can be manifested. So the outcome of this letter continues to keep confusion amongst the masses, while the rich get richer and the poor stay poor.

There is another point to the white and black color, white means to be enlightened, and black means to be the unknown, or in the negative since, a nigga. When God created the Earth it began in the black, Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. 3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning--the first day. From the beginning of time God, Yahweh, El Shaddai, Allah, Jehovah, whatever name we call our Creator, created the Earth in an “enlightened form”. So we are to maintain an enlightened state of mind as we live in the dark world. The Earth was created by The Almighty and through Adam the world is what it is today, dysfunctional.

2 Corinthians 4:6 For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

1 John 1: 5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Jesus is the Anointed One who left the luxuries of Heaven and came down to Enlighten us. His direction is so Anointed that people flocked to him just to witness His Existence. If we look at today, we don’t want to see the face of Christ because it’s disguised with a racial aspect. We fight over the color of his skin, if he was a Jew or not, if he is God or not. But what about taking into consideration Jesus Christ. When I run into people that knew me when I was younger, especially women, I get greeted with open arms. This is not to say I was a player but to say I was remember for being the shy and kind kid in the hood. I wasn’t always that way but for the most part a lot of people in my past remember me that way. What is in our heart should reflect our outward appearance. I grew up in the Baptist church atmosphere and the biblical principles were instilled in me early. Believe it or not, it has helped me grow through my transitioning’s in life. When it comes to Jesus Christ, I’ve always known of the existence of Christ, I just didn’t understand it. I got caught up in all the hoopla, just like everyone else. When life got so pathetic were I wanted to give up, the existence of Christ began to become clearer. I began to say “why me” and Christ said, “why not you”? How else will I be able to appreciate the blessings of God if I don’t go through something and appreciate how He brought me out of it. It becomes a disciplinary factor, my faith has to become stronger so I won’t veer away from the path God is leading me down. I begin to see things clearer if my faith remains in tune with what God wants me to do.

Psalms 104:31 May the glory of the LORD endure forever; may the LORD rejoice in his works

Psalms 119:68 You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees.

Jeremiah 31:35 This is what the LORD says, he who appoints the sun to shine by day, who decrees the moon and stars to shine by night, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar-- the LORD Almighty is his name:

We all have to go through something and that is only because of what we are doing. Let’s face the facts and be real with self, I try to every day, don’t mean I’m successful at doing this but I try. I have to look at me and say, hey bruh, it’s you that is the reason why you going through this. I look back upon how I got to this situation and realize what I did and didn’t do. Majority of the time, I was not following God, left him were I wouldn’t hear him, and continued doing it my way. But God made a promise to us, “He will never leave us nor forsake us”. I have to understand that in order for me to prosper in life I have to be Christ like. Then my directions in life will always be clear.

Exodus 10: The Plague of Darkness

21 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Stretch out your hand toward the sky so that darkness will spread over Egypt--darkness that can be felt." 22 So Moses stretched out his hand toward the sky, and total darkness covered all Egypt for three days. 23 No one could see anyone else or leave his place for three days. Yet all the Israelites had light in the places where they lived.

Job 26:10 He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters for a boundary between light and darkness.

I wanna explain this one a little in detail. The Old Testament had a lot of codes written to detour the ones who were out to kill the prophets of that time. Waters is defined in meaning as a large group of people so this gives reference to us. When we correct ourselves in the presence of God this becomes a reflection on our individual faces.

19 "What is the way to the abode of light? And where does darkness reside?

·         Job 28:3 Man puts an end to the darkness; he searches the farthest recesses for ore in the blackest darkness.

·         Psalms 139:11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

This is the example we receive on a daily basis, once the sun goes down its light still reflects off the moon and/or the stars. As with the moon, the only time we don’t see the reflection is when it is either eclipsed by the earth or the sun. The moon is eclipsed every lunar month because it goes through phases, or cycles, as it travels around this rotating Earth. Just as this happens with the moon we go through phases in our life. We have to remember that the light will always shine even in our darkest moments, if we allow it.

40 Days

Ezekiel 4:6 "After you have finished this, lie down again, this time on your right side, and bear the sin of the house of Judah. I have assigned you 40 days, a day for each year.

Genesis 7:12 And the rain was upon the earth forty days and forty nights

Genesis 50: 3 taking a full forty days, for that was the time required for embalming. And the Egyptians mourned for him seventy days.

Exodus 24: 18 Then Moses entered the cloud as he went on up the mountain. And he stayed on the mountain forty days and forty nights.

Numbers 13: 25 At the end of forty days they returned from exploring the land.

Matthews 4:1 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. 2 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.

Exodus 34: 28 Moses was there with the LORD forty days and forty nights without eating bread or drinking water. And he wrote on the tablets the words of the covenant--the Ten Commandments.

1 Kings 19:8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God.

·         Horeb is thought to mean glowing/heat, which seems to be a reference to the sun, while Sinai may have derived from the name of Sin, the Sumerian deity of the moon, and thus Sinai and Horeb would be the mountain of the moon and sun, respectively.

·         Horeb (a.k.a. Sinai, and the Mountain of God) is the mountain where Moses fasts for two times forty days back to back, as he receives the Law (Exodus 3:1). Later the prophet Elijah also spends forty days fasting on Horeb (1 Kings 19:8), after which he has his famous conversation with God in the cave (19:9-18).

·         The name Horeb comes from Horeb (hareb) meaning to dry up, be in ruins, lay waste.

Jonah 3: 4 On the first day, Jonah started into the city. He proclaimed: "Forty more days and Nineveh will be overturned."

·         Nineveh is the capital of Assyria, built by Nimrod (Genesis 10:10). It's also the city to which Jonah was sent (Jonah 1:2)

·         In cognate languages the city of Nineveh was known as Nina, Ninua or Ninu, so the Hebrew rendering of Nineveh should be expected to be a meaningless transliteration more than a deliberate name. However, the form Nineveh may have reminded a Hebrew audience of a combination of nin (nin) and nawa (naweh):

·         nin (nin) means offspring, from the root nun (nun) meaning propagate, increase. nun (nun).

·         nawa (naweh) means dwelling, from the root nawa (nawa) meaning keep at home.

Forty is the only number which, when spelled out in full, has its letters in alphabetical order. Forty is a composite number, an octagonal number, and as the sum of the first four pentagonal numbers, it is a pentagonal pyramidal number. Adding up some subsets of its divisors (e.g., 1, 4, 5, 10 and 20) gives 40, hence 40 is a semiperfect number.

·         A composite number is a positive integer that has at least one positive divisor other than one or itself.

·         An octagonal number is a figurate number that represents an octagon.

·         A pentagonal number is a figurate number that extends the concept of triangular and square numbers to the pentagon (Having “5” sides).

·         In number theory, a semiperfect number or pseudoperfect number is a natural number n that is equal to the sum of all or some of its proper divisors.

·         In science it is the atomic number of zirconium. (Zirconium is a lustrous, greyish-white, soft, ductile and malleable metal which is solid at room temperature.)

·         In astronomy, the planet Venus forms a pentagram in the night sky every eight years with it returning to its original point every 40 years with a 40 day regression.

·         In religion, the number 40 is used in Jewish, Christian, Islamic, and other Middle Eastern traditions to represent a large, approximate number: "umpteen".

·         a number equal to four times 10

Four: Genesis 1: 1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. 3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning--the first day. 6 And God said, "Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water." 7 So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it. And it was so. 8 God called the expanse "sky." And there was evening, and there was morning--the second day. 9 And God said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so. 10 God called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters he called "seas." And God saw that it was good. 11 Then God said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds." And it was so. 12 The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening, and there was morning--the third day. 14 And God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth." And it was so. 16 God made two great lights--the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. 17 God set them in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth, 18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening, and there was morning--the fourth day.

Before God put any kind of creature on the Earth, it was prepared. God planted “seeds” that bore more “seeds”. He supplied water and light, which this light is mention in two parts of Genesis. Verses 3 and 4, the light is separated from the darkness. Verse 14 thru 18, the light was given to govern the day and night, in the expanse of the sky. It is also utilized to give signs of seasons, days, and years.

Ten: “10” is the first number after all the single digits. When separated it has one and nothing.

·         A collection of ten items (most often ten years) is called a decade.

·         The ordinal adjective is denary.

·         Increasing a quantity by one order of magnitude is most widely understood to mean multiplying the quantity by ten.

·         To reduce something by one-tenth is to decimate. (In ancient Rome, the killing of one in ten soldiers in a cohort was the punishment for cowardice or mutiny; or, one-tenth of the able-bodied men in a village as a form of retribution, thus causing a labor shortage and threat of starvation in agrarian societies.)

·         With ten being the base of the decimal system, a scale of 1 to 10 is often used to rank things, as a smaller version of a 1-to-100 scale (as is used in percentages and wine-tasting). Hence, something that scores perfectly is "a perfect ten". A person who is attractive and physically flawless is often said to be "a ten", from the idea of ranking that person's appearance and sex-appeal on a 1-to-10 scale.

But what is involved with this “40 days”? The number forty is used by God to represent a period of testing or judgment (the length of time necessary to accomplish some major part of Gods plan in his dealings with various portions of mankind). The 40 days of rain in the days of the flood were the judgments of God. The 40 day periods of fasting, testing, and communing with God that were faced by Moses and Jesus were a form of God's judgments. The forty years that the Israelites spent in the wilderness were also the judgments of God. Various leaders in Israel who reigned for 40 year periods were put there BY God according to His Will and Judgments. Egypt was left desolate for 40 years because of God's judgments.

Matthews 4:1 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. 2 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3 The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." 4 Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' " 5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. 6 "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written: " 'He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.' " 7 Jesus answered him, "It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.' " 8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9 "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me." 10 Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.' " 11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

Hebrews 4: 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin.

Genesis 1: 1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" 2 The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.' " 4 "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. 5 "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." 6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

1 Thessalonians3:5 For this reason, when I could stand it no longer, I sent to find out about your faith. I was afraid that in some way the tempter might have tempted you and our efforts might have been useless.

Deuteronomy 8: 3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.

John 4: 34 "My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.

Psalms 91: 11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; 12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

Dueteronomy 6: 16 Do not test the LORD your God as you did at Massah.

In 1 Chronicles, chapters 19 thru 21, David had to deal with his kindness being taken for granted. People humiliated him and it enticed him to react. When he began to react it enticed the seed planted to grow inside of him. Before he realized it he was going up against God. 1 Chronicles 21: 1 Satan rose up against Israel and incited David to take a census of Israel.

Job 1: 6 One day the angels1 came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan2 also came with them.3 7 The LORD said to Satan, "Where have you come from?" Satan answered the LORD, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it."4 8 Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job?5 There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God6 and shuns evil."7 9 "Does Job fear God for nothing?"8 Satan replied.

Matthews 16: 23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."

Mark 4: 15 Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them.

Luke 10: 18 He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.

Luke 13:16 Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?"

Luke 22: 3 Then Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the Twelve.

This is a form of “demon possession”, which is actually “feeding on the fruit’s of evil”

Romans 16: 20 The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.

God will put Satan under our feet if we do not feed on the fruits of evil, but allow them to fall by the way side. Bad fruits usually decay and rot and then become food for the soil. We then can walk on this soil to facilitate the firmness of our walking path.

2 Corinthians 2: 11 in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.

At times the fruits of evil look good on the outside, but when we bite into them we find the bitter taste it has from decaying on the inside.

2 Corinthians 11: 14 And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.

Again, it is not always what you see is what you get. We have to analyze what we see to ensure it is what it is.

2 Thessalonians 2: 9 The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with the work of Satan displayed in all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders,

Revelations 12: 9 The great dragon was hurled down--that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.

Although satan comes to tempt us and work the miracles in our presence, we have been design to process what he does. Satan makes things look desireable but we have to take into consideration, what is involved in the presentation. God stands in the forefront of what happens in our lives but what we choose to do has to be in accordance to God’s Will. When satan brings it to be me, my reaction must be what is this, first. Understand what is here and thien make a sound decision how to best deal with what is brought to me. I cannot react like the animals do because I have the ability to analyse and use my senses to get a better understanding. Satan’s revelations are just that, what I see, or what is revealed through my senses. My job is to find out what it is and handle it in an orderly fashion

For 40 years, I have come under a lot of attacks that enticed me to react. When I look back on my life I see that what those things were didn’t cause me to react the way I did but I didn’t utilize my God-given talents to deal with those situations properly. All my biblical instruction could have been used to handle the situations, I encountered, on a more manly manner. Instead I reacted like a mitch and the outcomes were not the best. I still, to this day, suffer due to how I handled my past situations. I thank The Almighty for still allowing me to come to this point in my life because He really didn’t have to let me live. But because He has I try to improve my self by studying His Word and manifesting myself in Him.